The Oratory

No one likes to see their family struggling. Nothing is more painful than seeing a child, spouse or sibling struggling with anxiety, depression or any other kind of mental illness.

Life is too complicated to give an easy path to avoiding these things. In fact, I’d go as far as to say avoiding these entirely may be impossible. However, there is one strong practice to help strengthen the mental health of your family.

Prayer.

In short: Prayer as a family = a mentally strong family.

In my experience, it can be hard to literally be together to pray simultaneously. While that is an ideal, it can be easier to start by creating a family culture of prayer through your environment. Start by creating an “Oratory” for your family.

I borrowed the term Oratory from a book called The Little Oratory, which lays out methods to build family prayer into your home by having a specific space set aside for it. The name isn’t important though, and you could easily call it a “prayer corner”, “chapel”, or a “grotto”.

This space is the first step in the intentional shaping of your family’s spiritual and mental life.


Why does this work? Here are three reasons your family will benefit from an Oratory.

  1. It’s a space set aside to slow down and rest.

    Families start with crying babies and diaper changes… then it’s making sure the little ones don’t hurt themselves too much… then it’s school life and sports games. At no point in history has family life been busier and it doesn’t slow down as a family gets older. However, our bodies and minds aren’t meant to keep up with an always busy pace. Building out this space sets aside a physical part of our lives for slowing down. Perhaps we have sacred images we can focus ourselves on, or it’s just quite enough that we can slow our breathing. Either way, it provides a space set aside for rest in a world that doesn’t normally allow this to happen.

  2. It’s a space that is ordered.

    A well designed Oratory will be a harmony of colors and is typically contained by a frame that defines its boundaries. These help keep the space “uncluttered” and our mind from being overstimulated. It should also contain items like The Holy Bible, candles, Rosaries, etc which give a calming effect by familiarity and association. In some ways this is similar to focusing in on grounding materials used in trauma work to help the person stay centered in the present moment. This space gives a sense of order to our disordered world which can be a balm to a stressed out mind.

  1. It provides a space to gather.

    As a family, you can gather together in the Oratory and come together over a sense of peace. This doesn’t have to be long, in fact, even 5 minutes as a family can go a long way.


Everything about being human comes back to the significance of the bond and we are relational by nature. When we share the oratory space together we help to co-regulate one another and bring everyone into a shared space of balanced emotions. This strengthens our relationships and reinforces our ability to manage emotions in other settings.

  1. Rest

  2. Order

  3. Gather

The benefits are just the tip of the iceberg as the deeper values are in building our relationship with God through this space. However, my hope is that this space can provide the starts to a strong family and a more peaceful home.

OCD is more than checking the stove is off

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is often misunderstood.

Many associate it with the repetitive things like washing hand or checking locks. While these behaviors are common, OCD is much deeper than simple habits. At its core, OCD involves persistent cognitive distortions—flawed ways of thinking—that can distort how we perceive situations. These thinking patterns often make situations seem more intense, dangerous, or negative than they actually are, leading to heightened doubt and distress.

In previous blog posts, I’ve discussed examples of these thinking patterns. Now, I want to share a final set of distortions that are key to understanding OCD.


1. Intolerance of Anxiety

A common feature of OCD is the belief that anxiety must be avoided at all costs. Those with OCD often fear that without performing a compulsive behavior, their anxiety will spiral out of control, or they may even “lose control” entirely. This belief fuels the cycle of compulsions—attempting to reduce anxiety by carrying out specific rituals—despite anxiety being a natural and manageable human experience.

2. The “Just Right” Error (Perfectionism)

OCD often brings about a persistent sense that things must be “just right.” This perfectionistic tendency means that objects, actions, or even thoughts must be perfectly aligned or symmetrical to feel at ease. If something feels “off,” it can lead to overwhelming discomfort and anxiety.

3. Emotional Reasoning

In OCD, emotional reasoning occurs when you believe that because you feel anxious or fearful, something dangerous must be happening. For example, if anxiety arises in response to a situation, it may feel like that situation is inherently dangerous—even when there is no rational evidence to support that fear.


The Bigger Picture: Confronting Cognitive Distortions

While these thinking errors are common, especially in people with OCD, it’s important to remember that everyone experiences them from time to time—even those without OCD. However, in individuals with OCD, these distortions can become overwhelming and uncontrollable.

Recognizing and confronting the thinking errors at the root of OCD is an act of humility, as it requires accepting our limitations and seeking the healing God offers.

And the good news is, healing is possible. With the right tools, therapies, and support, individuals with OCD can break free from the cycle of obsessions and compulsions. By challenging distorted thoughts and working toward healthier thinking patterns, it’s possible to reduce OCD symptoms and live a more balanced, peaceful life.