An Examination of Conscience for Spouses

An Examination of Conscience for Spouses

"...I had enrolled in the School of Humility (and am still being held back in the remedial classes). I make my living counseling and advising couples. I like to think I’m good at my job, but I’m not usually all that good at taking my own advice. I often tell people that I need to hang a mirror across from me in therapy so that I can glance over at myself when I am telling couples what to do...

...One practice that I train the couples I work with to do is a spousal examination of conscience. And just to be clear, this means that you explore your conscience, not your spouse’s! I came up with this tool years ago when I noticed that couples have hit a true turning point in their marriage when they stop focusing on how the other person is messing up and start focusing on themselves. When you think about why things are going wrong in your relationship, it is easy to blame the other person: “I’d spend more time with her, if she’d just keep the house clean,” or “Why should I trust him, he’s just like his deadbeat dad!” But years of marriage will (or at least it should) teach you that if there is anything in life you don’t have control over, it is your spouse. When we try to control things that we can’t, we end up feeling frustrated and helpless..."

 

A Political Examination of Conscience

A Political Examination of Conscience

"...My favorite illustration is to look at Margaret Sanger’s own family experience. She was the founder of Planned Parenthood. Her family system was rife with trauma and broken attachments (psychology speak for poor relationships). If her family had been striving for healing how would the world be different? Its important to note her family was Catholic too. What did they fail at? They did not strive to be healthy in every facet of family life and what is more they were not able to make their faith practical. Faith must work in our families in order for us to make use of psychology and science to be healthier, progressing families. We don’t need to be perfect but rather making progress. The family is the cell of society, the smallest divisor of government.  When, with God’s grace, we make our families well, we make politics and society well too."

Parents Need to Know: Accommodations for College Entrance Exams

Parents Need to Know: Accommodations for College Entrance Exams

"It is now officially Autumn.  That lovely time of year when temperatures drop, leaves change color, and the scent of pumpkin spice latte fills the air.  School is back in full swing and the pressure is on!  High school students (and their parents!) can be seen nervously fretting over college entrance exams.  For students with special needs, like learning disabilities, test anxiety, and ADHD, the fear associated with these exams can move beyond normal nervousness into panic, dread, and mental paralysis..."

Exploring the 12 Step Programs Part 1: General Introduction

Exploring the 12 Step Programs Part 1: General Introduction

"...From the beginning it was emphasized as a spiritual program built on spiritual experience and spiritual awakening. Over time they developed a text commonly known as the “Big Book.” Within it they outline what alcoholism was like, what happened and what it is like now—their stories, their working of 12 Steps of recovery, and a new manner of living based on solutions and spiritual connectedness."

Prayer Part II: Okay I Know What Prayer Means, But How Important Is It?

Prayer Part II: Okay I Know What Prayer Means, But How Important Is It?

"... But here’s the thing: there will always be “another thing” to distract you. Really. A “thing” that seems the most important that will make you question if you’re able to multitask and pray...

So: if we don’t pray, then we aren’t talking to God and if we aren’t talking to God, then we aren’t building a genuine relationship. If we aren’t building a genuine relationship, how do we expect to present ourselves to Him in Heaven?..."

 

The Transfiguration: A Reflection for Progress in the Spiritual Life

The Transfiguration: A Reflection for Progress in the Spiritual Life


 It begins as Jesus takes his three closest disciples Peter, James, and John to the top of a mountain where they are clearly set apart; "holiness" in the Jewish tradition means to be “set apart” from the world for God’s purpose. In the spiritual life, this happens as we find our vocational calling, as we become less worldly, and hopefully as we grow in virtue. These steps while of God and important and necessary, are not enough--we are set apart so that we can go farther into God's love.

So you want to change marriage?*

So you want to change marriage?*

What is important to recognize about her response is that it was one of hope and not despair. She did not look around, say to herself while throwing her hands in the air, “their are too many, I might as well not even start.” Her phrase was, “God calls me to be faithful, not successful.” And yet, look how much she accomplished even in her fidelity. We too, as fallen human beings, are prone to sin. "...There are millions of them within us, but to start with one is like Mother Teresa caring for that first person. We may never succeed in removing all our sins, but we can deal with the ones set before us for the day. It is a grievous thing to despair at the sight of our own faults and so to give up trying (or perhaps we are more the type to justify instead?)  To strive then is not to despair, but rather to persevere in working away at our sins..."